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Thursday, September 12, 2013

A Fire that Keeps Burning...

Marriage does not always mean happy ending. If you want a happy ending and a marriage to last, you have to keep the fire burning. If the fire goes out, there is no one else to blame but one of you. That person can still love you but that doesn't mean that they should tolerate your neglect of love towards them. They can choose to leave you when they had enough. What do you do then?
You think you love them but really, your action to them shows that you really don't. You thought that they would accept you for who you are and that when they say "I will never think of divorce" gives you that assurance that they will never leave you... ever. Wrong again. Wait until it's a few years later and see if they still think the same. We all get married hoping to grow old then die together and no one expects that a marriage can end as a bad ending. Truth is, no one wants to be with a lazy, ungrateful, negative, or a hot-tempered person. In fact, they rather live by themselves than to deal with someone like that. Love makes you do crazy things. Love means... you have to lose yourself just to keep someone in your life. That means to give up all of your unrealistic dreams. You can forget about having things your way. It means to live your life FOR someone else... and not for you. Your made up fantasy and expectations of your spouse??... You can forget that too. That's how it can kill the fire in your marriage when you expect too much. The only choice you have is to love that person for who they are... not for the person you imagine them to be in the first place. If you're disappointed that they aren't who you married, then why did you married them? There is no one else to blame but YOU because you overlook the fact that they had flaws. You wanted to be with them so badly that it blinded you from seeing who they really are. Now, you're left with the option to stay with them or leave them. First of all, you cannot expect them to change. They too... cannot expect YOU to change for them. If they chose to leave you because they cannot accept you, let them. If you don't want them to leave you... then you might as well become that change that they expect from you. If you already did what you had to do and they cannot see it or accept that you've changed for them out of love, it's time to accept the fact that they don't want to stay with you anymore. It's sad... and makes you wonder... is it worth it to go through all of this? Marriage these days... it's a lot harder than how it used to be.
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